Sunday, September 26, 2010

day 8

day 8

so...this is day 8 of my fast and im feeling good....ive only had 2 blood sugar scares and i carry glucose tabs (15cals each) on me at all times in case i come close to fainting again.... the fainting seems to be worse/more easily triggered in and after a shower....i certainly dont want to faint naked,lol.....what a sight that would be.... so i seem to be stuck in the 102-102.8 range and im on my "e month" which makes me feel extra overweight because that means im still fat enough to get it....i went 2 years without it before.....i was under 100 for the longest time then though....im over 2 lbs away from that yet..... weigh in day at hospital ed clinic is on tuesday......i hate that someone else is going to know how heavy i am...how mortifying and embarassing, esp in an ed clinic where the weigh real ana angels..... im not a happy bunny today....and my blackberry is acting up....wont send pics:/.TE plateaus and weigh ins and curves of any kind...i just want bone! thats it... k

Thursday, September 23, 2010

thin is in: day 5

thin is in: day 5: "not only am i plateaued but yesterday i was 104.6 and today im 104.8...AND IM FASTING! so wtf! im choked....... not the best way to start m..."

day 5

not only am i plateaued but yesterday i was 104.6 and today im 104.8...AND IM FASTING! so wtf! im choked.......
not the best way to start my morning even though its only 0.2 lbs, its a gain and im fasting so it angers me! im restricting water today and upping the diet pills....
weigh in is on the 28th....im a fat cow. i dont need them knowing that! i gotta lose before then.....
i gotta reach my goal of 80 at some point....i wont/cant stop till i do...
im pro-ana and pro-recovery......i support ppl where they are at....just not myself. For myself, anas my constant and i love, hate and need her/it. im addicted to fasting and weight loss and the high i get off it....the "anorexic high" they call it.....
i dont know what else to say or do.....
im 29, 5'3, fat, hate my body

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

first blog

just re-started fast...
fasted 7 days...ate a little for 10 minutes....now ive restarted so today is day 1....
i will reach my gw....
i will not give in again whether i plateau or not....
hopefully my metab is back on now though...
anyways thats all for now....
and yes, right now, im pro-ana....if you dont like it...dont comment. its a waste of your time and mine.